“We love a Virgo woman!” said the host enthusiastically as he checked in our reservation for my birthday, reaching for menus. 

“Thank you!” I replied in a tone a both humorous and lighthearted. “Not everyone does, you know. We can be rather difficult,” I laughed. 

“The world needs you,” he answered now without laughing, quite serious. 

And now I’m not amused, but instead, touched- how nice, for a Virgo, to be liked for being such a thing. 

The truth is I don’t believe in horoscopes. At least I wouldn’t, if I wasn’t the virgo-iest Virgo to ever virgo. 

You can choose other names for it if you like: “eldest daughter”, “type 8”, “strategist”… the end result is all the same. A decisive, resourceful, determined, protective, perfectionistic kind of woman. I do believe to my core that the way you do good is by identifying a need and making it your problem to solve.

The type that is quite all right with going against the flow for what she perceives is right. A quick decision-maker who doesn’t particularly understand the concept of neutrality. The kind that prefers a great deal of autonomy, because there’s just so many varying things to do. A woman that deeply wants the best for those she impacts, advocates for, and loves— unafraid to be assertive, or even angry, in their defense. 

It’s the kind of woman that receives plenty of negative feedback for her confident statements, a lightning rod for the irritation of people who disagree with her. Unable to stop seeing truth, but taught by the world that speaking that truth out loud just won’t jive.

Generally unmoved by disagreement and unbothered by debate, quite accustomed to having no one in the world who entirely agrees with her views anyway. But also deeply affected by rejection for simply being herself. Told she’s ‘difficult’ as a person, when maybe it was just the view she expressed that you didn’t like. 

The kind that wants to get everything ‘right’ and (since this is impossible) becomes her own worst critic. Prone to perfectionism, seeking excellence always, but unable to achieve it by her own standards. Self-critical, and often criticized.

It’s an assortment of characteristics that can be very useful to have in a friend, but simultaneously easily misunderstood. And the older I get, the Virgo-ier I seem to become. After spending a great deal of my late twenties trying to break free of the “opinionated” label, trying to be as soft and palatable as possible at all times, I’ve given up. For better or worse, I’m a Virgo woman.

An earth sign— Loyal, reliable, honest. 

A woman— Sensual, determined, resourced. 

A human— Trying, failing, succeeding (repeat). 

How nice to liked for such a thing.